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Emotional Intelligence

Updated: May 20, 2019

When I mention the words “people watching” I most of the time have a crowd that knows exactly what I am referring to.  It has been a privilege over the years to have the opportunity to do just that.  In my line of work,  I sit and listen as well as watch people describe who they are.  All walks of life, various backgrounds, different IQ’s as well as EQ’s. So is it fair to say that if we are emotionally in check than our reactive state of doing will flourish? 

Take a moment to think about yourself.  Think back to a time when you did something that was beyond what you felt you could do.  What supported you to create that moment of success?  What made you feel that you could accomplish the task?  Now I am going to ask that you check in right now.  What is your breathing like? Did your face shift as you thought about that time?  Did you body shift in any way as you were thinking of that moment? How are your shoulders affected by this thought? As a coach, this is something that we pick up on when having a session with our clients. We call this somatic checks. Somatics works through the body, engaging us in our thinking, emotions, commitments, vision and action.  I encourage you to learn more of this as you learn about your well-being and EI. 

So what it is? EQ (Emotional Quotient) is a term used in psychometric to identify Emotional Intelligence (EI). Emotional Intelligence or EI is referred to as the ability to recognize, evaluate and regulate our own emotions, emotions of those around you, and groups of people. Just like IQ, EQ is measured by EQ Test. You can surf the internet and find plenty of these EQ test. There are also EI experts that can give a much deeper understanding to its importance in your daily life. 

I challenge you for the next four weeks to understand more about your EI.  When you are in deep thoughts about a project, check in with your emotional state.  What is your breathing like?  How do you feel?  What senses are being stimulated?  Are you so focused that you have tuned everything around you out?  Do you have a sense of calm or anxiety?  Are you still or are your feet tapping on the floor? Take some time to check in more with your EI.  How is your EI before an important phone call?  Right before the kids come home? Before a meeting? Walking in the door for work?  Walking out the door after work? A phone call with a friend? If you take some time to notice where you are emotionally you can better life in many ways.

Will having a better understanding of our EI heightened our IQ level?   As a teacher, I often saw students that felt good about themselves and had purpose in their lives have higher academic performance.  Their focus skills, feeling of belonging, and accepting the process played into their learning and behavioral success.  The same can be found with my older clients.  As they move into the executive levels of leadership, the more I can develop their EI the more they feel confident and positive in their productivity, leading their teams, and decision making skills. I am not discarding the importance of your IQ.  This information is to bring awareness to the state of EI. 

If you are driven by your IQ, I challenge you to find emotions that often show up. Find your EQ? Do some research and figure out the purpose of driving certain emotions more than others. Create a log for yourself and see if there are patterns to your emotional wellbeing. Have you ever heard someone say, “ That person is fake because they are just too happy.”  Believe it not, you can live your life in that state of emotion but the resilience must be high enough to capture the fall.  If we better understand our EQ, we are more likely to react in a productive manner which our IQ allows us to process with keen EI.  

Continue to learn and become self aware.  What do we have to lose by checking in on our EQ so that our IQ is driven with clear purpose. 


Work, Life, Integrate to grow in both your EQ and IQ. 

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